Edit: This post seems at bit trivial at the moment but FYI it was written a couple of months ago, before the current pandemic.
Today marks two years since my partner in crime nervously mumbled “check this out”, got down on one knee and whipped out a pretty, emerald engagement ring. Would I marry him? Of course I bloody would. (Read the full engagement story over here.)
We got engaged in Italy at sunset and followed it up with wine and pasta. It was pretty much the ideal engagement to be honest. I told my family and friends, announced it to the world, quickly subscribed to Rock and Roll Bride magazine and started pinning dresses and invitation ideas to a new Pinterest board. (Who am I kidding, I started that board before I’d even met Josh.)
I had exactly 20 days of being newly engaged. It was a sparkly ol’ time. There was a celebratory lunch at work and Josh’s parents got the champagne out when we popped round. And we started with the difficult first task of creating the guest list for our nuptials.
Then on day 20, everything changed. We found out I was pregnant. (Pregnancy announcement this way FYI.)
It was a shock. It was also quite difficult in that period between finding out we were expecting a baby and telling people we were expecting a baby, because people kept wanting to talk about the wedding and my mind was in a completely different place. Every time someone said “Congratulations!”, I was immediately like OMG THEY KNOW. But no, they were talking about getting married. Phew.
We did consider getting married quickly, shotgun wedding and all that. But I didn’t want to get married and not be able to drink and dance my heart out. Plus, pregnancy did not give me that beautiful glow. Let’s just say I wasn’t looking my best and didn’t exactly want that stage immortalised in wedding photos on the mantlepiece, y’know?
But also, we now had a baby to save for, instead of a wedding. Any kind of wedding we whipped up would have been extremely budget. Not that I think you need to spend loads of money on weddings, but we wouldn’t have been able to afford to invite everyone.
Then once our daughter, Indi, arrived into our lives, all thoughts of getting married were forgotten.
Financially, maternity leave is a struggle for everyone, and we had decided to move in with my parents to relieve the pressure. We also saw it as a good opportunity to get a house deposit together. This would probably be the only opportunity we would have to do it, and with a young family, a roof over our heads became more important than a party. So that’s what we saved for instead. And we did it, we bought a house last summer!
So basically, we did everything in a completely non-traditional order. Engaged – Baby – House.
But now we’re in a better place. We both work full-time again so we have money coming in. I’ve spent the last few months paying off furniture we bought for the new house, as well as getting a bigger car. Next stop: a wedding? Well, hopefully. Nothing has gone quite the way I expected it to so getting married still feels very far away.
I also think the idea of getting married feels a bit redundant to me now? I mean, we have a child, we have a mortgage, we’re a family and have legal and financial commitments to each other. We’re pretty much married already. So getting hitched feels like it would just be a party now.
I do still want to get married though. It’s important to me that I have the same last name as Indi and I want that commitment to Josh. It’s just different now. It still doesn’t really feel like a priority.
It could all change next year though. Two of my best friends are getting married and I think that might give us a second wind. Seeing friends get married always gets me excited for our own wedding.
So what I’m getting at is that – yes, we will eventually get married. It’s still on the cards. But there’s still no rush. I never thought I’d be one of those people with a long engagement but here we are. Longing it out.
I always joke that we were the first couple in our friendship group to get engaged but we’ll be the last to actually get married. And actually, it’s looking like that could well be the case…
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