It’s been quiet on the wedding planning front on here, I know. I think the last time I mentioned my impending nuptials was last April when I said I was going to get a move on with the planning… And well, A LOT has gone down behind the scenes. So I thought I’d post a little update on how I’m getting on.
Starting the wedding planning adventure!
The first thing we did in the wedding planning process was creating our guest list. That way we knew how big our wedding would need to be, what size venue we would need and what kind of budget we’d be looking at. I found this part pretty easy to be honest. Josh and I have the same friendship circle so there were no arguments!
Next, I spent a very long time researching what I would need for our wedding and estimates of how much everything would cost. I read countless wedding budget articles. And in my usual Capricorn way, put together a budget spreadsheet. I mean, I’m a bit of an Excel nerd, so everything in my life has a spreadsheet, but I think you can agree that a budgeting spreadsheet is necessary when planning a wedding!
And then it was time for the fun bit – searching for the dream venue!
Finding the perfect wedding venue
This section of wedding planning coincided with that nice part of 2020 when we were all allowed to actually do things (for a limited time), so I booked in lots of viewings in the summer and we started making our way through them. It’s weird, I didn’t really know what I wanted at first and thought I was quite flexible and open minded about it. But as soon as I started looking at venues, I realised I actually had a lot of opinions!
We visited a total of five wonderful venues, from a charming vineyard to a Cotswolds barn, and fell in love with not one but TWO venues. I thought we’d nailed it. All my research had paid off and we’d discovered two lovely places we could get married. One was a quirky and colourful farm with Gypsy caravans and beautiful outdoor space. The other was a really intimate and cosy venue with lots of fairy lights and a pretty courtyard. After much deliberation we choose the latter, but considering the situation with covid and the fact that no wedding insurers were taking on new policies, we spoke to the venue and got an extension to pay our deposit. That way we could assess the situation and get some insurance before handing over thousands of pounds.
Then I was left to think about things. (I think this might be the problem with long engagements.)
You see, there are a lot of things I want at the moment. Including the big family house in a couple years, which is going to take a fair bit of saving. I also want to do some big trips once we can travel again. And these things take money. So the more I thought about it, the more I realised I didn’t want to spend the amount we would’ve been spending at the venue we had chosen.
I had balanced the numbers in my spreadsheet of course. We could afford it. I’d worked out a savings plan and figured out the maximum we could save in the timeframe, and it covered everything we wanted. But the question is, SHOULD I spend all that money on what is essentially one day?
I’m not questioning other people that choose to have the lavish wedding, because they really are awesome. But I realised that for me personally, I’d rather have the house, hun.
So I cancelled the venue.
Don’t worry, they were totally cool with it. We had paid £100 to secure the date which we lost, but it’s nothing compared to what we would’ve paid for the wedding venue.
So last month that put me solidly back at square one. After almost a year of researching and planning. Lol.
But it’s all good, I actually feel very positively about it. I feel more confident that I know exactly what I want. I know how I want the day to feel as opposed to how it will look on Instagram. I know the things I’m willing to spend money on and what I’d rather skip to top up the house fund. And more importantly, I have a new budget I feel more comfortable with. Of course I might end up overspending, but I think choosing a cheaper venue goes a long way to reducing overall costs.
Finding the perfect venue… Again.
So what’s next? Round two of venue visits! I’ve actually done a lot more research in this lockdown and I’ve got lots of quotes backs that feel more affordable. And I’ve changed tactics on where I’m looking. Long gone are the days of researching barns and manor houses and tipis. Instead, I’ve turned my attention to boutique hotels, pubs and restaurants. It doesn’t sound as swish, but trust me, there are some gems out there.
We’re still aiming to get married in September 2022, so hopefully we can get somewhere booked this spring/summer as lockdown eases. Fingers crossed.
What else have I done?
The main thing I’ve done, other than the above venue mess, is get really clear about my ~vision~ for the day. I know what vibe I want, the kind of centerpieces and decor I want, the wedding favours and the flowers, all that jazz.
As part of my new budget, I’ve also reassessed what my priorities are for the day, as has Josh. We know the areas where we can spend (I want a wonderful photographer and Josh wants live music) and the areas we have to save (I’m all about a High Street dress and DIY decs). But I really think it will come together.
I’ve got the vision, guys. And I kind of think that’s half the battle? Now I just need to turn it into a reality. Watch this space.
Head over to my Instagram for regular updates on my wedding plans, millennial motherhood and life in general.
