I thought I was done with writing The ‘Rona Diaries. I knew the pandemic wasn’t over but around Summer/Autumn 2020, it felt like we were going in the right direction. We were doing ‘Eat Out To Help Out’ for god’s sake. But no, we’re right back in national lockdown in the UK for the third time. And honestly, it’s getting to me.
The weather probably has a lot to do with it. Daily walks are less appealing in the wind and rain, and it’s not like lockdown 2 when we had Christmas to look forward to. Now we have the annual bleakness of the January Blues, yet with a dollop of fear and hopelessness thrown in for good measure.
Wow, I’m really at the point where I’m missing the days of lockdown 1, huh?
At least there’s a vaccine is all I can say. Imagine if we were at this point with no end in sight? Not that we know when this will end, but at least there are positive steps being made to suggest that some form of normality may resume in 2021. Eventually. PLEASE.
Regardless, I know a lot of us are finding this lockdown extra hard. And I think that’s purely down to how long this has been going on for. The novelty of taking up new crafty hobbies has worn off, no-one wants to bake banana bread anymore. The Groundhog Day routine was bearable before, when it felt temporary, but now it’s just a way of life. WFH, zoom calls and weekends of Netflix are the norm. I almost feel like we’ll be in a state of shock when things do go back to normal. What will we do with our lives when there is endless possibility, after a year of cabin fever?
I’ve also come to realise this week that a big trigger for me is Instagram.
To date I’ve been happy to share my life on Instagram, to a certain degree. But I think since the pandemic, when I haven’t had travels to showcase or cool events to attend, I’ve poured more of my everyday life into my Instagram Stories. I guess just to have something to do, but also to reach out and talk to people, build a community, see how we’re all coping. However, by putting more of my personal life on public display, I naturally invite more commentary from my followers. And it turns out, I don’t actually like confrontation. So when I give a casual, off-hand opinion about something and someone that follows me disagrees, they are quite happy to message me to tell me I’m wrong and why.
I know that’s what Insta is about, and when you put something out there, you’re welcoming criticism. But that’s just not for me. I don’t want the critcism and I don’t want to debate things I believe in. Especially when I’m feeling down about the pandemic and lockdown life. It’s just not good for my mental health.
So I’ve decided to cut right back on Instagram. At least during the current restrictions. To be honest, I don’t have anything of value to add anyway. My whole thing is meant to be ~Family Adventure~, so no-one needs to see what I’m having for breakfast or my book recommendations. When I start having adventures again I’ll get back to it, but right now I need to step away from it. I’ll stick to Pinterest where I can see pretty pictures without the social interaction.
I’m hoping that will help me get through this wave of lockdown. Also, I really need to remember that exercise or some form of movement helps. I’m not really an “exercise person”, so I have to have a lot of will power just to do a 15 minute walk around the block at lunchtime. But I know it makes me feel better. I didn’t post any goals or intentions this year because it feels like we are so limited in what we can do. But one of mine should probably be movement. Any kind of movement. Just for my mind, y’know?
Ok I’ve ranted long enough today.
Moral of the story: Lockdown 3 is hard. Instagram is a trigger. I need to get out more. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
