Full Moon Party on the island of Koh Phangan in Thailand was my first experience of a travelling bucketlist item that did not live up to the hype. Sometimes they just don’t, people.
This could mainly be because of my high expectations and the order in which I did things though – I had been to several kick-ass beach parties on Haad Rin before Full Moon and the main differences were that any kind of Thai culture had disappeared and an onslaught of awful people had arrived.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s still a fun night partying on the beach, but be aware that you will meet some wankers…
The 5 People You Will Meet At Full Moon Party
1 – Lads On Tour
Typically they consist of a group of young British men in vests that usually have revolting nicknames written on them like ‘Dirty Dave’, ‘Del Boy’ or ‘Shagger’. Ok, I’ve seen much worse than those, but my mum reads this, ok?
Lads On Tour used to be confined to Magaluf or Ayia Nappa but these days they’re global. And seem to be always on a Stag Do. You’ll find them downing buckets, chanting and shouting ‘oi, oi’ to scantily clad girls on the beach.
2 – Brand New Traveller Girls
These are straight-off-the-boat backpackers with wide eyes and bushy tails just itching for adventure. This was definitely me on my first visit to Koh Phangan.
They tend to go full-on Full Moon cliche with tonnes of neon paint, brightly-coloured tops with ‘Full Moon Party’ emblazoned on them, and knock back Sangsom buckets unaware of how strong they are. You can find them dancing like no-one’s watching on podium’s and ‘whoo-ing’ like they’re on a Hen Night. There’s a definite pattern here…
If they’re anything like me they would also have obtained an injury at some point in the night…
3 – Girls That Have Lost All Dignity
There are more of these girls than you might think. They’ve normally been in Asia a lot longer than the Lads On Tour and the Brand New Traveller Girls, and have really lost all inhibitions. They will likely take all of their clothes off at some point, will drink way too much, and generally think that Full Moon is actually Burning Man in Nevada.
You will find them at the end of the night with the dregs of the party-goers, stumbling around with no shoes.
4 – Shady Drugdealers
These are the same shady drugdealers you find at London parties. Like exactly the same guys with skin-heads and baggy clothes coming up close your ears saying ‘pills, pills, want any pills?’. No, I’m good thanks mate. They are there purely for business opportunities, clearly.
You will find them wandering around the crowds selling their wares.
5 – The Koh Phangan Variety of Hippy
You will meet plenty of hippies in Southeast Asia, that’s a given. But there are lots of different varieties out there. The Thailand Full Moon Party hippies are the ones you will find on the shoreline talking about how big the sea is and how we’re all insignificant in the grand scheme of things. It’s highly likely that they have met with the Shady Drugdealers at some point in the night.
What do you think of this list? Does this reflect your experience of Full Moon Party? Any I’ve missed?? Let me know in the comments below or tweet me @HeelsInBackpack!