Instagram has a lot to answer for. Mainly for portraying people and things in an idyllic light and giving us unrealistic expectations. Whether that’s about picture-perfect holidays, how our homes should look or the stylish outfits we should be buying every week. I’ve found this particularly prevalent when it comes to motherhood and family life.
I should start by saying I know I’ve been part of the problem in the past. Particularly with my travel content. On this blog I’m always realistic and honest about my adventures, but on Instagram, I don’t know what it is, but I only ever showed the beautiful, photogenic parts. I like to think I made up for it in my captions/stories, but still, it projects an image of my travels being amazing and perfect and dreamy. Hashtag Blessed.
(Read more: What Travelling Was Like Before Instagram)
This definitely rings true with motherhood too.
I don’t know about you, but I spend an unhealthy amount of my free time scrolling through the ‘gram, looking at beaut family accounts and stylish mothers. And I don’t think these accounts always show real life. Sure, lots of accounts talk about the struggles and contradictions and strength involved in being a mum, but there are certain things I’ve noticed even these “honest motherhood” accounts do. (Yes I do some of them too, my bad.)
Lies Instagram Tells You About Motherhood
Babies wear cute outfits
When you’re pregnant and going goo-goo about baby clothes, you look at these baby accounts and swoon at the beautiful knitted two pieces and adorable vintage dresses and cute booties. And y’know, buy them all.
But the reality is that babies want to be cosy and comfortable and all they want to wear is onesies/sleepsuits. If you’re anything like me, you’ll still try to get your tiny human into a wonderful earth-toned knitted number but then realise how inappropriate they are once they vom all over it.
Wooden toys only!
“I’m going to buy my child Scandi wooden toys, none of these plastic horrors.” LOL. We all say it, right? Because that mummy account only posts wonderful shelfies of wooden trains and stacking rings in pastel hues, so kids must love them right?
Nah babes. For a start you’re not meant to use wooden toys until your kid is over 1, because they can hurt themselves with them. Secondly, kids like bright colours, so are naturally drawn to the horrible plastic Fisher Price crap.
I’ve actually seen Instagrammers admit that the wooden toys are just for show and they hide the plastic stacking cups in the cupboard.
Always serving healthy homemade snacks
I’m guilty of this one. I only post a photo of Indi’s meals/snacks if they’re healthy and look cute. I don’t post photos of the emergnecy freezer food meals (potato waffles for the win). But it can make mums that are weaning babies or toddler mums worry that they need to create amazing nutritious meals all the time.
I mean, in an ideal world, I’d love that. But sometimes there isn’t time, or your kid is going through a phase of only eating hotdogs (ahem). Cut yourself a break, I’m sure the Insta-mums have chicken nugs in the freezer too.
The beautiful Nursery/Kids Room
This is the one that really got me when I had a baby, because I didn’t have a nursery for Indi until we moved when she was 9 months old. And I had such mum guilt when I saw the beautifully decorated nurseries expectant parents were presenting on Insta.
I’ve just painted her room for the first time and she’s nearly two. So don’t beat yourself up if your kids room hasn’t been done yet. The priorities for a nursery/kids room is having somewhere for them to sleep and storage for clothes and toys. Job done.
Smiley kid photos are easy to come by
This is my current reality – my kid won’t smile for photos. But all of those family accounts have those wonderful photos of the whole squad smiling and laughing and running on the beach in slow motion. What gives?
All I can deduce is that those photos must take a very long time to achieve.
Picture perfect Christmas
Seasonally-relevant, I’ve realised this month that I’ve been trying to plan a dreamy level of Christmas festivities in my house, when in actual fact, we can’t do it all. I think when you see it all on your feed you start trying to keep up and want to have everything for your kid.
I want the personalised stockings, the personalised present sack, new decorations, matching PJs, Christmas baking sessions, movie nights, festive crafts, blah blah blah blah. The list goes on and it’s completely unattainable to do it all. You just have to pick a couple of things to do with your family and go from there. (And remember to enjoy it.)
I also think with the material things like stockings/sacks/decorations, you can’t buy it all at once, it will get you into debt for nothing. Just buy one thing a year and over the years you’ll build up your winter wonderland.
Your house can stay as it is
Is it just me whose house has changed completely since having a kid? The parents I follow on Instagram still seem to have stylish interiors with large plants on the floor and open fires. How are they doing that? My living room and kitchen are covered in child locks, my hob has an oven guard, my fridge is covered in drawings and paintings, and under every piece of furniture is plastic fruit or Megabloks. Either the people I follow have magically trained their young children not to pick up fists full of soil or to avoid the tupperware drawer, or they’re only showing the corner of their house that looks Insta-worthy.
Life going on as it was
100% of mums I know in real life say that their lives changed forever when they had children. Sure they can still do things they love and see their friends and keep the things important to them in their lives. But I think Instagram gives you the impression that mums just go back to normal once they have kids. But it’s not business as usual.
You don’t see the childcare issues when they go for brunch with their friends. You don’t see their depleting bank accounts when they have to buy their kids those new clothes. You don’t see the post-natal mental health issues or the exhaustion when they post cute baby selfies. You don’t see the hellish plane journey to that family holiday.
Sure you can fit a child around your life, but it takes work. Don’t let Instagram convince you it should be easy.
Is there anything I missed? Are there any other lies Instagram told you about motherhood that should be on this list?
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