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I’ve always had a relatively good body image. I’m not a serial dieter and I’ve never really struggled that much with how I look. But of course, like everyone, I’ve had my hang ups with my body. Who doesn’t? The thing is though, because I was starting off on good footing, I didn’t really worry about my body post-baby. I hadn’t really thought about the fact that it might change.
It wasn’t until I got my first stretch marks in my third trimester of pregnancy that I had that realisation. Pregnancy is temporary but the effects can be permanent. I got off pretty well with just three stretch marks, albeit relatively-chunky ones, but it’s a reminder that my body went through something huge.
And honestly I’ve found my post-baby body after that point, a bit of a shock. Because other than stretch marks and general weight gain, which is all you really hear about, I hadn’t really realised that anything else would change. No-one really talks about the rest of it.
Personally, I found the fact that my hips got wider pretty weird. It meant that all pre-pregnancy clothes immediately went to the charity shop. It doesn’t matter what my weight is, if my actual hip bones have changed, there’s no way I’m ever going to be the same clothes-size, in trousers at least. Same with my chest. My bra size went down a cup and up a back size, which is really not the way round you want it, is it?
And then there’s the tummy. My stomach has always been an insecure spot for me, because it’s where I always hold weight. But since having my daughter, my stomach is a different shape entirely. I now have that “mum roll”, y’know? Why does it do that??
But here’s the caveat, and I think you’ll agree, it’s all totally worth it for our children. I mean, I think that’s a given, but it’s worth saying. My wobbly belly is a small sacrifice for my absolute gem of a toddler.
Saying that, I know we all still have to go through the process of coming to terms with our new bodies. So if you’ve recently had a baby, I thought I would give you a couple of tips for how to start appreciating your body again.
1) Accept that you’ve changed. Of course, you can work off the baby weight if that’s what you want. But as I’ve listed above, there are some ways you change that you won’t really be able to come back from. The sooner you realise that the better.
2) Get rid of the clothes that no longer fit your new body. Maybe “one day” they’ll fit, maybe not, but staring at them in your wardrobe without being able to wear them will just drive you crazy. I always thought that about the episode of Sex And The City when Miranda wears her “skinny jeans” after years of them not fitting. Why did she bother keeping them all that time? If you lose weight in the future, you’ll buy new clothes anyway.
3) Replace them with clothes that make you feel good. Gradually of course, I’m not saying go max out your credit card, especially if you’re on the dreaded SMP. What I’m saying, is take time to work out what suits you now. For example, I’ve always worn high waisted jeans because they suited my body type. But after I had my daughter, I realised they did nothing for my stomach (ironically I stopped wearing mom jeans after I became one). Once I started wearing the right clothes, I felt miles better about my body.
4) Exercise, to prove to yourself that your body still works. I mean you should probably work out for other reasons, like health, etc. But I found it really helpful when I started going swimming again after a year off. It made me feel good about my body again, that it could still move how it used to, if that makes sense. I felt strong again.
5) Appreciate everything your body has done for you! When you think about it, your body has gone through some crazy shit. Growing a baby, birthing it safely into this world and even feeding it if you wanted it to. We beat ourselves up for not looking the way we did but when you take into account everything we’ve gone through, it’s not looking too shabby, huh?
I know this is all easier said than done, but I think that last one is key. When you start being grateful for what your body has done for you, you’ll stop worrying about the stretch marks. They’re battle scars after all.
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