11 Myths I Believed Before Having A Baby

My friend Lauren and I were talking about this the other day. We both had babies this year and now we lol about how ridiculous we were when we were pregnant. The myths we believed about birth and motherhood. Oh, how different we thought things would be with a baby!

And I thought it would be good to list out the things that didn’t quite work out for us. We’re pretty convinced they don’t work out for anyone but let me know your experience with these.

*Photos from our little family trip to Mead Open Farm!*

11 Myths I Believed Before Having A Baby

I’ll Nap When The Baby Naps

It makes perfect sense before you have a baby. Newborn babies sleep like 20 hours a day, right? So surely if you just sleep when they sleep, you’ll be so well-rested! LOL YEAH THAT DOESN’T HAPPEN.

You see, as soon as the baby (finally) sleeps you have to do everything else you need to do. Basic things like having a shower, cooking dinner, eating lunch, quickly cleaning the bathroom before she wakes up… And before you know it, the baby is up and you’re back to mum duties. Goodbye sleep. It’s been sweet.

Mind Over Matter, Birth Won’t Be That Bad

I feel like I tried to be sensitive in my Birth Story, and not be too negative. But mate, childbirth is hideous. I did a lot of hypnobirthing practice before I had Indi, and although I think it helped in the early stages, I just don’t believe people can have births that aren’t painful.

In my antenatal classes they were all like “Not everyone describes pain, they say it’s pressure“. I’m so a mind over matter kind of girl but NOPE. Birth is terrifying and I’m not doing it again in a hurry.

I Need LED Tealights In My Hospital Bag

Ok, speaking of birth, one of the biggest topics when you’re heavily pregnant is what do I pack in my hospital bag?! You Google all the packing lists, make several impulsive Amazon purchases and buy a giant pack of maternity pads. But most of it you don’t need.

Particularly the non-functional items like LED tealights and water sprays and aromatherapy stuff. Needless to say when you’re in active labour, you don’t give a shit about your lavender room spray.

I’ll Have Loads Of Free Time On Maternity Leave

I had big plans for my maternity leave. I thought I would put loads of effort into my blog or create a new side business or even write a book. Well let’s all have a big laugh because during maternity leave I just about managed to survive.

I looked after my daughter, I got to a baby class once or twice a week, I managed basic chores like doing the food shopping and changing the bed sheets. But that’s about it. Turns out this motherhood thing is hard work.

I’ll Keep My Pre-Pregnancy Clothes For After I Have The Baby

I preempted that I wouldn’t immediately fit back into my pre-pregnancy clothes after giving birth. I’m not naive. We all know it can take a while to lose baby weight.

But the thing is, I didn’t realise that your body changes on a much bigger scale when you have a baby. I was actually back to my normal weight a lot quicker than I had imagined. But there are some key differences to my post-baby body now. I have bigger hips, a wider back and my stomach is a different shape, meaning that all of those clothes I saved are completely useless. Good one, universe.

Things Will Be Back To Normal After A Month Or Two

Having a baby is just a bigger deal than I thought it would be. It changes everything. I’m six months into motherhood and every month I feel a bit of myself coming back to life. I have a feeling it might be a year or two before I feel like my very best self again. So no, it’s not just a month or two, it’s actually quite a huge lifestyle change, pal.

I’ll Be Back Drinking Wine With My Pals Before I Know It

After 9 long months of being teetotal, staring at your friends’ Pimms during the summer and suffering a prosecco-free Christmas, you get excited for that moment when you can enjoy a gin and tonic again. And yes, it is sweet nectar of the gods when you finally take your first sip of red wine. But I soon realised that getting drunk is a thing of the past. At least temporarily.

It doesn’t matter if I have childcare for a night out, I still have to go home and look after a baby. I still have to be a responsible parent. So unless I have overnight childcare, it’s just one or two drinks with my pals these days. (Although I have a baby-free wedding to go to in October and I can’t wait to get on it!)

Breastfeeding Is Easy And Everyone Can Do It

Ugh. I know, I’m very brave to confront breastfeeding on the internet. I’m pretty much asking to be trolled.

But actually, breastfeeding doesn’t work for everyone. Don’t @ me. I tried for a week, saw several breastfeeding counsellors and midwives, endured the trauma of hand expressing and it still didn’t work. So I’m a formula-feeding mama over here.

You get a lot of judgement, mainly from health professionals in my experience, but you just have to do what’s best for your family. Fuck everyone else.

My Baby Won’t Have Screen Time

I was so strict about screen time before having a baby. I still am to a degree, because I’m adamant my kid won’t have an iPad at the dinner table in a restaurant. I hate that. But yes I have slipped in the odd baby sensory game on my phone. And I realised early on that Indi would fall asleep to Paw Patrol in the mornings and I could take a shower in that time. So TV is very much my friend. What you gonna do. It’s 2019.

Co-sleeping Is Dangerous

I never thought I would be the type of mum to let her baby sleep with her in bed. It just seems wrong, it seems dangerous, what if you roll on them in the night?! Then I started a little morning snuggle routine. Indi wakes early, I give her milk then we snuggle up in my bed for another hour or two. This snuggle time is my favourite thing ever. You feel close and like you’re bonding, and Indi sleeps so much better in my bed. It’s a legit option that health professionals support. You just have to co-sleep safely and it’s all good.

You’ll Get Used To The Tiredness

Never.

You’re always tired.

No matter how good a sleeper your kid is.

This is just life now.

Continuously yawning.

Let me know what you think. Is there anything you believed before you had a baby that turned out to be absolute bollocks?!

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