Pregnancy Diary: The First Trimester

I ummed and ahhed over writing a pregnancy diary. I mean it’s nothing to do with travel and actually it’s quite personal, so is it something I should be sharing with the world? Well, what decided it for me was the fact that loads of people seem to forget their pregnancy experience. I feel like that’s nature’s way of making you have more children. And I want to remember this time in my life. So fuck it, I’m doing it.

Overall, pregnancy is so new and weird and nothing like it is in films. And mainly involves at least 536 Google searches a day and reading every Mumsnet forum ever to make sure what I’m experiencing is “normal”. It’s also exhausting and stressful and so far in my pregnancy I give it a solid 2/10. And that’s only because I’m allowed to buy myself new clothes, ones that actually fit my weird, growing body.

So yeah, this post should probably come with a disclaimer – it’s going to be TMI. If you want a sunshine and roses view of pregnancy, this isn’t the blog post to read. This is what pregnancy is actually like, embarrassing digestive problems and all.

I know, you’re welcome.

The First Trimester Of Pregnancy

Let’s start at the very beginning, a very good place to start (tell me you sang along too?).

I took a pregnancy test on a bit of a whim. I didn’t think I was pregnant, I didn’t have any weird symptoms. But I had come on my ‘period’ and it was super light. Google told me the worst, I could be dying (typical netdoctor) or I could be pregnant and it’s actually implantation bleeding. So I thought I should just check and poodled on home to take a test.

Now I’ve taken pregnancy tests before and waited patiently for the 3 minutes to end before checking the result. But it turns out when you’re preggo, that second line comes up in seconds. Pregnant.

I didn’t actually believe it. When Josh came home I took another one and then we drove to Tesco to buy one of those fancy expensive ones that tells you how many weeks you are. And all confirmed, yes, I’m in fact knocked up.

It was weird. I think when you’re presented with new experiences in life, you’re not always certain how to react. Even though we wanted kids, we’re old enough and we’re engaged, we still spent the next week walking around saying ‘What the fuck are we going to do?’.

I made an appointment with the GP because that’s what Google told me to do first, but it was nothing like how I had imagined. I told him I was pregnant, he asked if I was keeping it, printed off some guidelines from the NHS website about what I can’t eat (that I’d already read), then told me to book a midwife appointment at reception. What? So you don’t actually check I’m pregnant? You don’t ask about symptoms or anything?

I guess this is everyday stuff for the GP, but when you’re having this massive life-changing thing happening, I just found it all so strange.

The hardest thing in those first few weeks after finding out was keeping it a secret. I never thought I would keep it a secret before it happened, but when everything you look at online tells you the incredibly high miscarriage rates, it just felt like we should keep it to ourselves for a bit. Mainly so we could come to terms with the idea ourselves before telling the world. Cue going to a boozy picnic with a mate, bringing along alcohol-free ciders and trying to cover the label with my hand the whole time.

I was also convinced that I wasn’t really pregnant, or that it was an ectopic pregnancy (I’ve had ectopic cells removed before). So I thought I was wasting NHS time and money and was just filled with anxiety the whole time tbh.

So I ended up booking an early scan with a private ultra-sound clinic opposite my house, just to put my mind at rest. And honestly, it was such a good idea. It was really early days, but the sonographer located the baby (just a smidge at this point) and could tell me it was a viable pregnancy. I even saw the very early flicker of a heartbeat which is just crazy when it’s so early.

At this point I was only 6 weeks pregnant so she offered us a free re-scan 2 weeks later. When we went back she could properly measure the heart rate and tell us “so far, so good”. Obviously nothing is certain but it was a huge weight off my mind. I can’t recommend it more, for those first couple of months when everything just feels so stressful. (This is who I used if you’re interested – Ultra-Sound Direct).

But let’s rewind a sec to my first few symptoms, around the 6 week mark. My first big thing was what they call ‘stretching pains‘. It just feels like period pains but I had them everyday for months. It’s because your body is moving around and making space for where your uterus is going to go. But they can be really annoying, as well as worrying at the beginning when you immediately think you’re miscarrying when you feel the slightest twinge in that area.

And then there’s the morning sickness. This is the thing I feel is hugely misrepresented on TV and in films. Because pregnant women are always being sick on them, it’s the major symptom they seem to portray. And actually, I read an article (which now I can’t find, so I’m a very bad blogger) that said only 50% of pregnant women are physically sick during pregnancy, 30% have just nausea and 20% have no nausea at all.

Well I was in the middle camp, that 30%. I wasn’t physically sick with the nausea but I felt terrible most days between weeks 7 and 11. I completely went off most food, even stuff I loved before. I survived on jacket potatoes and fruit and peanut butter on toast. I made dinner as usual every night but mostly it would just turn my stomach and I couldn’t eat it. Seriously, it’s not fun.

It’s hard to concentrate on work or blogging or social events when you feel so rough so I think people were starting to suspect something was up at this point. It’s also around this time that I went on a press trip to Northern Ireland. It was planned before I found out I was pregnant and honestly I really enjoyed it. But the food situation sucked for me. On press trips the menu is sometimes pre-planned so one day a platter come out for lunch with cured meats, brie, pate… all the things I can’t eat when pregnant! Luckily I brought snacks with me just in case!

Oh and (ahem) about those digestive problems I mentioned. It turns out everything sucks in this arena too. My first trimester consisted of nearly two months of diarrhea everyday. Sorry, I told you this post would be TMI. But like, who knew about that? They don’t talk about that on TV, do they?

Then when it died down this was replaced with constipation – yay! Again a totally normal pregnancy symptom I had no idea about. And the worst part is that I’m now worried it’s leading to piles and I mean is there anything less sexy than that… UGH.

Oh and then there’s the pure exhaustion. (Have you decided not to have kids yet?) I can’t put into words the levels of tiredness I experienced during this time. Like I said in my Tips For Travelling In Your First Trimester post, I was having naps after work, getting up to have dinner (when it didn’t turn my stomach) and then would sleep for 10 hours through to the morning. This is why I got practically no blog posts up during this time, ok?

I’m not done, pal.

I told you I wasn’t actually sick from nausea, but I was sick around the 10 week mark. But it was from acid reflux. I drank a bottle of Pret Orange Juice on the way back from Gatwick Airport after our city break extravaganza in Eastern Europe and felt like I was choking, it was so weird. I then ran to the toilet to be sick and immediately Googled it, like what the actual fuck. And yep, it’s actually a form of heartburn. Fun times.

Can you tell I’ve had these rants saved for months? All the things I haven’t been able to tweet are coming out in this blog post!

There are more weird symptoms, guys – like jaw ache, heart palpitations, a metallic taste in your mouth, an improved sense of smell – but basically if you google any symptom + pregnancy, it will come back with “yeah, that’s a thing”. Like lots of women who are preggo in the summer, I’ve also majorly struggled with hayfever this year (you can’t take hayfever tablets when up the duff FFS).

Then I got bit by an insect on my finger (they like pregnant women because of all the extra blood we have) and it got infected and swelled up. Hello 3 hour wait in the walk-in centre in the middle of the night. Because I’m pregnant, the person I called on 111 told me to go in and the doctor gave me some antibiotics that were preggo-friendly.

But I used that to my full advantage on a work trip the next week. Finally, an excuse as to why I’m not drinking!

Even though I hadn’t told work yet at this point, we did decide to tell our close friends and family. They say to wait until 12 weeks when the risk of miscarriage is lower and you’ve seen your baby at the 12 week scan. But actually it was causing me too much stress to keep it a secret. And if the worst was to happen, these are the people who I would need support from. So we broke the news to both of our parents (it’s the first grandchild for both so they’re super excited!) and our close group of friends. It felt so much better to have them know. And it was at the right time as we had come to terms with what was happening and were ready to talk about it with everyone.

Oh and then I had another drama with my booking appointment – the first appointment you have with a midwife. I turned up at my appointment, after Josh and I both took time off work, to find out that she’d double booked us. I burst into tears. I’m not a gal to show emotions like this but good lord those pregnancy hormones sure showed up. HELLO EMOTIONAL WRECK. (I also got a bit emosh watching the World Cup. Go figure.)

I eventually managed to get another appointment with a midwife. The booking appointment was over an hour long as they go through both mine and Josh’s family medical history, take my blood, test my urine, check my CO2 levels, talk about the screening tests I’ll be offered. It’s a lot. But I really liked it. This was the first time I felt properly pregnant and really ready for the next stage.

Then just a few days later I had my 12 week scan at the hospital. It’s here that they weighed me and I realised I’d lost 1.5kg since finding out I was preggerz – apparently that’s normal what with all the nausea and food problems. The scan was good but not at all as nice as the private early ones had been. The sonographer takes a few measurements, doesn’t really say much about the baby and then asks if you want a photo. We were like, er… is the baby ok? (Again, so far so good.)

But the scan photo is really bad. The baby has its hand up to its face which makes it look like a massive nose! Literally Olaf from Frozen. Yeah won’t be sharing that one. But we did get a due date – the day after my birthday in January! It will either be the best present ever or the worst way to spend my birthday. Likely both.

They also do the combined test at the 12 week scan where they test for Down’s, Edward’s and Patau’s syndromes by taking a measurement of the baby and a blood test. The results come back as how likely your baby is to have these syndromes and ours was 1 in 100,000! So happy with that result. It’s not 100% but it’s good to know.

I told my work the following week and they were really happy for me. It wasn’t as scary as I thought it would be. But also, statutory maternity pay is less than minimum wage so I’m not entirely sure how we’re going to survive at this point. People in countries like Czech Republic and Poland and Hungary have great maternity pay, some until the child is 3 years old, but the UK is one of the worst in Europe. Sucks to be us.

I’ve also invested in some solid maternity wear pieces. I’ve been showing from about 9-10 weeks which is super early but I blame my non-existent abdominal muscles. I also hate any kind of waistband around my belly so I’m living in Asda maternity leggings and oversized Topshop sale t-shirts at the moment. Ooh and the best thing I’ve bought so far is a maternity bra from M&S. Such a game-changer when your boobs feel so weird and change everyday and hello whose nipples are these?

So yes, that brings me to the end of my first trimester. In 2,500 words lol. Sorry, I’ve properly rambled but you gotta understand I’ve had to keep this all to myself for ages!

There’s been dramas and all the gross symptoms and honestly pregnancy so far has sucked. But that is how it’s meant to be in the first trimester. It’s meant to be hard. But word on the street is that the second trimeter is when you get all of your energy back and get that pregnant-lady glow and just float around in maternity sundresses with a nice, round bump. That’s what I’m hoping for anyway.

I’m a bit worried though because I’ve read that pregnant gals either ‘bloom’ or ‘wilt’ and I seriously feel like I’m wilting. Some women get gorgeous skin and thick hair but I have spots and greasy hair that I have to wash everyday now. Wilt it is. Oh and I’m sure it’s going to be a girl because I also read that girls suck all of the beauty out of the mother lol. Only time will tell! But we will be having a gender reveal party so keep an eye on my Instagram for that one!

I hope that was interesting/of some use to pregnant women, people intending on being pregnant shortly or just curious Georges out there. But mainly it’s just for me. I want to remember what I’m getting myself into if I do decide to have another kid at some point in the distant future…

Fingers crossed pregnancy is nice to me in the next chapter.

Let me know if you have any questions about any of this! Or alternatively go follow me on Twitter or Instagram for regular updates and moans about this whole palaver.