I’ve lived in Milton Keynes for nearly 6 years now. Which is kind of insane considering I was planning on staying here for 6 months to try out commuter life.
People constantly ask me why I would exchange living in London for the bright lights of the Xscape (read this post). But what can I say, I made some really good friends, I met Josh, I got a great job and here I am 6 years later, as MK as it gets.
And there are moments in my everyday life that I realise just how MK I am. Here are the signs that you are in fact a Milton Keynes resident, folks…
39 Sign You Live In Milton Keynes
- You don’t go lower than third gear on a roundabout. There are just too many to slow down.
- Oh and your car tyres are officially worn on one side. FFS.
- You get angry at cyclists on the roads. THAT’S WHAT REDWAYS ARE FOR.
- When you decide you’re game for a cheeky Nando’s, you then have to decide which one. (There are 5 here).
- Nothing says summer more than a walk around Willen Lake. (Just don’t go near the swans.)
- Except maybe a pub lunch by the canal at The Navigation, Cosgrove. (Get the halloumi fries.)
- Explaining to out-of-towners that when you say you’re going “up city”, it in fact means you’re going to the shopping centre.
- Speaking of which, the intu Milton Keynes part of the shopping centre will always be called “the new bit”.
- RIP the oak tree in the new bit.
- You can’t even go to the supermarket without seeing someone you know. This is a small place.
- You bought the Milton Keynes Monopoly. Even though you don’t like Monopoly.
- You know the best way to spend a Saturday night is cheering on MK Lightning at Planet Ice with a jug of beer and a pizza. LET’S GO LIGHTNING.
- You talk about the good old days of going out at Oceana, Mood and Opus. (I didn’t even live here then but I always hear about it.)
- You dread driving through the double mini-roundabout in Bletchley.
- You won’t go to MK1 Primark on a Saturday. It’s hell.
- You won’t go to IKEA on a Sunday. It’s hell.
- When you meet people and tell them you live in Milton Keynes they say “Ahhh, concrete cows?”. Erm, yeah…?
- When you go to London for a night out and it take just 30 mins, you think “Why don’t I do this more often? We’re so lucky to live so close to London”.
- On the way back from the night out when the train takes an hour and a half and there are no taxis left at Milton Keynes Central, you think “Ah, that’s why…”
- You brag that the grid system makes it so easy to get around, but you’ve definitely been lost on them. Did I want H5 or V5?
- You or someone you know works at Home Retail Group, Santander, Rightmove, Allianz, Open University or all of the above.
- You remember the atrocity that was the Milton Keynes Winter Wonderland of Campbell Park in 2013. Lol.
- But you still like to check out the Campbell Park events in case there’s a good one. (The World Food Fair ain’t bad, mate).
- Oh and don’t forget sledding there when it snows! Perfect slopes right there.
- You can’t get over the little ‘robots’ delivering food in the city. (Is this Black Mirror?)
- Or the self-driving cars. (Definitely Black Mirror.)
- You have fond memories of events at The Bowl. (Greenday, 2005)
- And The Point makes you feel nostalgic.
- The Stony Stratford Christmas Lights switch on and lantern parade gets you in the festive mood every year.
- And let’s not forget the epic Zombie Pub Crawl for Halloween. So. Much. Fun.
- You can also tell when summer is starting by the colourful bunting in Stony. Charming AF.
- You crave independent shops and restaurants.
- But when they open you still shop at Topshop and eat at Wagamama’s. (Who are we kidding?)
- You think it’s cool Milton Keynes has the first indoor ski slope, but have never actually tried it out. It’s still nice to watch though, right?
- You don’t make social plans in the city until after 6pm (free parking).
- You’re lucky enough to have both the city and the countryside at your doorstep.
- But it’s getting bloody annoying that house prices keep going up as more commuters move here… #FirstTimeBuyerProblems
- You get a lot of abuse for living in the concrete jungle that is Milton Keynes.
- But you wouldn’t have it any other way.
Let me know if you enjoyed this post! I know it’s a little niche but MK residents, let me know if there’s anything else you’d add to this list!
Let me know in the comments below, tweet me at @HeelsInBackpack or find me over on Insta at @Heels.In.My.Backpack!
I live quite near to MK in Hemel Hempstead. Alot of your points resonate here too. My dad’s side of the family live in Bletchley (they would say Fenny Stratford) and I know the horrors of the mini roundabouts, ikea and Primark! an interesting read. (btw I came here via your insta story).
I’m glad you can relate! And lol at Fenny Stratford instead of Bletchley!
So great!! I have been 17 years and I have seen this city grow!
I remember the days with
No hub
No mothercare (for expectant mothers today that would be a no impossible to imagine situation)
No stadium
No Asda – it was a big thing when it opened!
No ikea! Yes everything we bought was either charity shops or Argos!
Sainsbury’s in front of the xcape
The old lady on the roller skates at the xcape! I always though if grannies in MK looked like her haha
The old OU no the fancy building it is now
Easy cinema … bunch of us entering with one 50p barcode… maybe it was thanks to us that the place went under administration LOL
Crazy how this little Latina here knows so much about MK… 😜💕🇻🇪
I haven’t lived in MK since 1998 and there was definitely Mothercare there then. Overlooking Middleton Hall in the city centre.
Bosh. My zombie crawl got a mention! #proud
Another two for your list
You get used to leaving only 10 mins before your appointment 5 miles away across the other side of MK.
Your kids hate driving in other towns (Northampton anyone?)
Oceana, Mood and Opus? They are a bit this century… 99p pints in Heroes then to Empire on the first Monday of the month for 80’s night!
HA try peaches then razzells in bletchely and then austins opened in lloyds court well before the point and then zazzoos in the winter garden .. then it was the golden flamingo and the cafe moonshine .. oh those were the days but of course all after the heady days of the agora in wolverton , the only place to be on a fri or sat night in the early 80s not forgetting 1p night on a tue when the queues were right past the job centre .. ..
I laugh when outsiders think of MK as a concrete city – they’ve planted over 23 million trees here! The grid roads look like colourful boulevards in spring
moved to mk in 1985 to oldbrook see the point being built and see the first film shown back to the future
I’m sure I went skiing indoors in Tamworth before Xscape existed.
They certainly resonate as a resident of some 35+ years. Never understood why people think it is a concrete jungle, as an outdoors person I get out weekly into beautiful countryside without having to get in a vehicle of any kind! 32 Really bugs me though, way too many chain firms here. Great post.
Brilliant same for me, Been here since 1985 and love it. Its like living in a City but is just 5 minutes from the country .
Great and fun article, I can relate – over 13 years in MK and excited to be here.
#LoveMK
P.S. I love seeing MK evolve… there are so many hidden ancient gems, intermixed with the new. A wonderful mix of people here helping create exciting opportunities. Proud to be contributing to the arts scene here.
I’m feeling old now since we moved to Newport Pagnell in 1973 and I remember the shopping center opening! C&A in Middleton Hall, and our first experience of MacDonald’s. Austin’s was the nightclub to be seen at. I remember MK Bowl first opening and the development of Campbell Park. And Middleton Swimming Pool was an outdoor pool.
I left in 2001 but my parents are still there as are many, many of my friends. It’s a great place to live.
19 years in Milton Keynes. No regrets and anticipate many more. Everything we need and want is here. So many green areas and outside leisure spaces. Why would we move away?
Just one more item for your list – you cannot use a redway without coming across the Redway Runners running club.
Now over 1700 members. If you fancy a little exercise and fresh air join in.
Rollers 💃🏽
As a resident that was born here over 47 years ago it’s a very very good post and all things I can relate too. Although as a child it was all very rural just small villages and little towns. 😊. Shenley had hardley any houses, so what is now known as shenley brook end was where the brook was church end was where the church was and so on there was probably only 3 or 4 rows of houses in the whole of shenley back tben.But for those of us that have been here many many years more we always talk of the good old days down the Agora in Wolverton where everybody went at one point as it was the best place to go or the queen Vic. Would never move loved it back then love it know 😃
I identified with most of these.
I’ve lived in and out of Deanshanger for all of my life, and as I read this from a remote part of the Philippines I feel very homesick right now….. I’ve been lucky enough to live in many places around this planet due to my job but I love to tell people in other countries about where I come from, and when I talk about MK, to some people it sounds like a place from the future surrounded by a rural ring of days gone past, and as I tell these stories it feels like that for me too and I want to spend the rest of my life coming home to it! 🙂
Thank you to my friends for sharing this with me, thank you for writing it (in such a genuine way too) and thank you to the other additional comments from others on here too, I’ve really enjoyed this 5 minute escape from my (what some might say) current idyllic seating spot, back to a place that’s full of even more amazingly stunning memories!..
Actually that reminds me of something else about home, we get some stellar sunsets here but boy does MK get some show stopping sunsets that rival some of the most tropical destinations I’ve ever been too!! Hope you get a special one this evening just to prove my point 😀
Yes love the sunsets here. Enjoyed reading your post and style of writing. Have you ever thought to write a book of your experience, travels. You have an interesting descriptive style. I mean that sincerely.
Ah thank you for saying so! It’s not on my radar right now, but maybe some day! 🙂
Love this. Grew up in no. Moved to Scotland 10years ago. And reading this has made me think of home. And bringing back memories. I think rollers gas to be added onto this list. To many Friday night’s spent there. Xx
Can someone please tell me why Milton Keynes village has been signposted in brackets under Middleton? Surely it should be the otherway around. It’s a bit like saying, What Came First The Chicken Or The Egg!!
Here you go Dawn.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Middleton,_Milton_Keynes
Magnet fishing capital of the U.K.
Not sure how I came across this post, but it makes me smile. We lived in MK (Great Holm and then Oldbrook) from 1989 to 2005 when we moved to France. I loved the city (though was initially reluctant to move there) and for me the best thing was the Amateur Dramatics scene. I was a member of Stantonbury Campus Theatre Company for almost all my time in the city – directed by Roy Nevitt, and other talented directors – putting on stuff that other groups copuld only dream of: The Mysteries, stands out for me, together wioth Nicolas Nickleby. If we ever moved back to the UK I’d be tempted to go back to MK.
i can relate to this I was born in Bletchley 57 years ago and my Mum came here as an evacuee at the age of 5 with her 2 sister they were here for 7 years before her younger brother and parents followed later from Islington. My mum never had the want to return to London when she was older and My dad was from Ramsgate and he had family in Bow Brickhill and Stony Stratford he worked at Bletchley park so my family and i have seen the changes but it was a great place to grow up.
You don’t need to go far to find countryside and relaxation. Many changes have taken place but i still like it. Many people came here from london and they moaned there was nothing to do in the beginning but they have never gone back. Your home is what you make it and what you want for your family. Bletchley/Milton Keynes is very central to the whole of the country.
Old skool Best night out hero’s, flamingos (flamimbos) before it became empire, then empire, Chicago rock cafe, sanctuary and sunset boulevard.
It only takes 10 mins to get anywhere in mk unless it’s rush hour then gridlock.
Oh and pinks
Hi Kara. Found this article shared, and I only work in MK, but a lot resonates! I’m kind of your opposite number in a way, as I am distinctly un-glam, but love travelling – albeit on as little cash as possible!
Anyway, you know you at least know MK very well when…
* you call it Milk and Beans.
* your day is punctuated by the sounds of novelty car horns and tunes (Cafe2U van plays the Godfather, M&S van plays the Soul Limbo).
* When it rains, the paving slabs turn into a fun shoe-soaking tippy up game.
* the shock and dismay on the faces of the uninitiated at the train station when they ask you for directions to the shops and they realise they’re still a mile that-a-way.
* you know the poet laureate.Yes, there is one, and his name is Mark Niel!
* No one bats an eyelid at people smoking by the fire pits in Pinks, even though it is definitely indoors and there are no-smoking signs.
* word spreads like wildfire when there are freebie giveaways by the station. Especially when it’s the pains-au-chocolat!
* you notice the resigned way in which the council have answered the call for a skate park, by just letting the old bus station be a bus-station themed skate park.
* you try to talk to the test robots for the self-driving cars.
* you have exhausted the geo-caching opportunities in the subways – at least you have grown tired of people staring at you while you scrabble about in the rat-infested bushes (told you I’m not glam!).
* you observe the statue of snivelling people by the bus station and empathise with their pain (the bus timetable is redundant!)
Personally I think it’s the most boring place to live! And it’s getting scruffy. The buses are dire (I call it a village service turns up when it feels like it) yeah ok the redways are good for my new electric bike. Except for the potholes. And bumpy sections. I rarely shop at cmk shopping centre except poundland. The market looks like a shanty town. The homeless sleep outside the station(good first impression for visitors?) And in the underpasses all the way to the shops and beyond. And it’s not a city and doesn’t have a city centre. It’s a town centre….
I’ll give you the potholes, that shit is annoying.
Erm, why are you giving him just the potholes. all J’s points are valid especially the multitude of homeless bums. seems to be getting worse. Also, no one has mentioned the plague of rats.
I have lived here for 38 years, lived in London 32 years, would not live any where else I love Milton Keynes.